Name: ymmatammy Home: Berkeley, California, United States About Me: Currently a student at the University of California, Berkeley majoring in Economics. Soon-to-be graduate. Looking to take advantage of what time I have left before I get thrown into the real world--I want to take photos, travel and eat good food. I like to play tennis, design things, make things from scratch and cook. See my complete profile
III
things are gonna get easier
September 29, 2007
// 2:34 AM
Can I just say, that today, after such a long, hard, stressful week, that today, I felt calm. So calm that I wanted to go outside and hug the ground. I felt so good for such a good long moment. I felt like I could lay down on the grass, stare out at the sky even though it was quite cloudy today, and just feel really good about everything. I wanted to tell the world how much I loved where I was at in that one moment--no rushing to class, no studying, no paying bills, no catching up to do, no problems to solve, no feeling sorry for myself. It felt so good.
Naturally, when this past week started, I already wanted it to end. Had a quiz in the class I'm failing, and had a midterm in the class I'm heading towards failing. A good mixture for what I like to call a shitty week. All I did when I got home from school was eat whatever I could so I could distract myself from studying. I hate studying. I hate studying thinking you're fucking getting yourself ready for a test when you know it's useless. Anyways. Stats quiz never even happened and I wish not to talk about Econ.
I just wanted to go home, see my sister, eat moon cake with my mommy and daddy, hug Kevin, and pretend like I didn't have anything else to do (although, yeah I have a midterm on Monday. screw that shit). Adrian drove my sister and I back from Berkeley (he sure is a nice fellow) and when we turned into quaint little Edgewater Drive, I just got happy. It felt so weird. Everything was so calm and quiet--no honking street cars, no buses in need of greasing, no saxophone players, no hills to walk over, no panhandlers to avoid--nothing. I'm so happy I live in Milpitas. It has to be one of the best places to go home to. I just feel like myself again.
I don't want to go out and save the world yet. I don't even want to meet a thousand people and tell them I'm out there and I'm going to save the world one day. I just want to go outside, lay on the grass, and hug the sky--tell it how much I love life--maybe not necessarily my life, but life. I like getting those special moments of happiness and calmness.
So, Jon rules for sending me "Keep on Hoping" by Raul Midon. The most hilarious thing--I heard the first 10 seconds thinking, "this sounds a lot like what Jason Mraz would sing." Jon tells me the guy who sings it is blind, but the guys who duets isn't. I tell him I thought it sounded Jason Mraz-esque. He gives me that blind stare message. Then I ask him, "you don't think so?" Then he gives me the blind stare again. At that point, I just start paying attention again to the song. Then I realize the freaking guy duetting is--get ready for this--Jason Mraz. Oh my, Jon, yous a funny one. :]
My dad just walked in and asked my why I wasn't asleep yet and where the heck was my sister. Oh daddy, yous a funny one too.
Can I also once again mention how wonderful I think Jason Mraz is? Can I also mention that I think he's the freaking shit for having a blogspot?
Today as I walked back and forth from class to home to the gym and other places, my nose had a workout. All I smelled today was chemicals, exhaust, gas, and stinky people. Yuck.
I realized I hadn't taken any pictures of the apartment yet. I think I'll do that if I have time tomorrow. Tidy it up first. It's very cozy and nice for 3 people. I like out little living room and our nice big windows. All we need is a Wii to eat up my time. We made a collage of Vogue ads on our wall from the 10 pound magazine our roommate left behind for us.
I literally got back from class today and sat on the couch to watch tv for 2 hours. Then I very unwillingly got up to go to the gym. I ran like 2 something miles and did some other junk before I came back home to a nice delicious dish of food that Lenny had cooked. :] Then, sadly, after my shower, I watched tv for another like 5 hours. SOOOO lazy. I don't know, I just seem to be tired all the time recently. I've been applying to so much stuff and doing interviews and studying for Stats and then theres Econ and then my Chinese class that has homework every night. Things just need to settle down.
Name: ymmatammy