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III
为什么我不可以愉快一点？
So, last night was a terrible terrible night and I totally saw it coming. I don't know why I got so upset. Actually, I do know why I was so upset. And I'm even more upset that nothing seems like the right answer anymore. It's either getting really pissed and upset or feeling really terribly bad and regretful. I'd rather forget yesterday night. If there was one day I'd take back this summer, it'd be last night or that night in July. Last night I got to bed at 1 something and attempted to fall asleep but failed miserably. Then around 3:30 I realized I still hadn't gotten a phone call, made me feel like shit. Tried again to go to sleep at 4:30, and I knew it wasn't coming. I was wide awake, really frustrated and slapping myself in the face because I wanted to do anything but allow myself to lay down and have my thoughts wander. I turned on my laptop and I talked to Dallis for an hour or so in my frustration. I wished I could get wasted really badly. I tried to go to bed at 5:30 after realizing my mom would be getting up soon for work and what do you know, I still couldn't sleep. So I laid there. With my head feeling like it was going to explode, I watched it get lighter and lighter in my room. I heard my mom leave for work and felt like I was doomed for the "night" and I was just going to call it quits for sleeping at 7. Finally, I fell asleep at around 7:30am.
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Name: ymmatammy
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