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III
see no one loves you more than me--and no one ever will
July 31, 2007
// 11:11 AM
You know how you just get a hold of new songs and you just listen to them over and over and over again? Well, that's me right now, except their not exactly new songs.
John Mayer - the whole damn Continuum album
Lauryn Hill - Ex-factor
Barbie Hsu & Vic Zhou - Rang Wo Ai Ni
Yesterday I got a nice surprise visit from Bjay, Dallis and Larry while I was eating dinner. And they came bearing gifts! Gifts of strawberry icy with pearls from QCup. We just talked about our questionable trip to socal, about how Bjay is a gangster, and of course about how lame I am. We looked at my reallllly old pictures too--back from 7th grade. Good times. Too bad I hardly talk to anyone in those pictures now with the exception of Bjay.
Not that much work today. I'm waiting for the Safeway guy to come through the door and cure my empty stomache. Ivy brought me to work today. There was oodles of traffic. I wouldn't mind sitting in traffic right now, turning up my music really loudly and just sitting there by myself in my own little (sorta) car and not really need to go anywhere.
Last night I passed the time watching Monk. That show... it was funny as usual, and Monk is genious as usual. I didn't do much else. It was hot in my room last night, so I went to sleep without my blanket over me and when I woke up to the garbage men, I was freezing and I kept waking up, hoping that I didn't have to get up soon. I love it when I wake up way in the middle of the night thinking I still get to sleep for 4 hours. I can't imagine how I ever had a hard time sleeping. I can do it all day now if I wanted to. Lazy summer I guess.
Your aunt came into work today to my surprise. I thought they were going back from Merced today. I guess they cut their trip short a day. What have you been up to? I hardly see you online anymore so I assume you're just off playing or watching tv. How many hours do you work a day? Are you working 8-hour shifts already? You must be getting really dark--dark and chlorine smelling. For some reason, I have been becoming more and more optimistic about this whole ordeal. Or maybe I just feel better because I got to hear your voice the other day, even if it was for a mere 20 minutes and it wasn't exactly a pleasant conversation. But I think it's mostly because I have been thinking about you and me and I keep thinking we just work together--you do things and teach me things I wouldn't know without you and I am there to help and teach you things you might not know without me. I keep thinking theres so much more we planned to do, so many more things to be happy about and to be shared. For some reason I keep thinking about that meteor shower next month I wanted to watch with you. I keep thinking that you will consider the day before last Friday night, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that when you asked me to come to see you for half an hour and I gladly obliged. I keep thinking about how I was so happy and how you seemed happy and all of a sudden it ended. I keep thinking, 'he can't just end it like that; he knows this is all wrong; he knows we shouldn't do this; he knows we've worked way too hard to just end it.' I keep thinking you know that next year won't be the same as last (if you're still thinking about last year). I keep hoping you'll know I can make it better. I keep hoping you'll remember that I don't let things that I think are wrong to just go untouched without trying to fix it. I really can fix it.
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Name: ymmatammy
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